The birth of Rhonda Byrne's "The Secret" in 2006 raised such an awareness on the Law of Attraction. This led to more and more people realizing how powerful thoughts are in creating our physical reality.
Now more than ever, more and more people are putting up vision boards. Meditating few minutes a day. Saying affirmations before going to sleep. Listening to subliminal audios during sleep. Then... go about their routine and end up looking at crap for the rest of the day.
If you understand that your thoughts attract things, people and situations in your space, have you ever considered filtering your thoughts? Is that even possible? Various researches show that the average person thinks about 20,000 to 70,000 thoughts per day. PER DAY! You can't even keep up counting those thoughts, what more to filter them!
An Excerpt on my "Train of Thought"
Let me give you a glimpse of my train of thought on my bus ride on the way to work. I usually have my earphones on, listening to my favorite radio program.
"I wonder which of my clients left me a voicemail today? Oh well, I'll finish what I owe (my client) after our meeting yesterday. Is that rain? I really need to buy a new pair of sandals so that I don't wear out my shoes too quickly. But then if I wanted to take Zumba classes, I should probably buy a pair of rubber shoes first. I wonder how much Zumba classes would cost each month? If I have lots of cash, I can buy BOTH shoes and sign up for Zumba all at the same time. I wonder how other people do it? But it's okay. There's my next paycheck and the upcoming bonus... I really hope I have more money everyday and not just have enough. Ooooh.... I haven't heard this song in a long time! Reminds me of... I wonder how he is? Whatever. And no, I'm not bitter... or am I? Sigh, I haven't seen a movie in a long time. I mean, in the cinema. But then again, there's always HBO. I wonder how the traffic is in EDSA? I'm never late for work anyway. I miss going to the mall on weekday afternoons and having my ME time! It's been years since I've last done that. See that building with green lights on top? That's where I'm getting off. It would be much easier to just fly there!"
I'm pretty sure what I wrote is more linear than what usually happens in my mind. The point is, that's how random our thoughts could be. More importantly, if all those thoughts would create my reality, could you see how crazy my life would be?
Ever since I got into ThetaHealing®, I found myself starting to be more conscious of my thoughts. I started learning how to notice my thoughts and realize "mid-sentence" if it's worth putting energy on or if it should stop dead in its tracks right then and there. I haven't mastered whatever it is I'm doing, but for me, it's a big step to being able to take control of my mind... and ultimately my life.
Eventually, I learned a few techniques that help me "mind my mind".
3 Ways to Mind Your Mind
1. Gratitude Prayer
I have previously written an entire blog post regarding gratitude, and I believe this is really powerful. Before going to bed at night, I make it a point to recall all the things that have transpired in the day and say thank you for all of them. From having awaken in the morning, to the safe commute to work, to the meals I have eaten, to having made it home, to the conversations I've had and what I have learned... everything! Even if the day seemed normal and nothing special happened, I still express my gratitude for the experiences of the day. This trained my mind to be thankful for all the things I have and experience in my life. Having the energy of gratitude in life brings in more things to be thankful for.
2. Symbol of Abundance
One of the main reasons people feel unhappy, lost and desperate is due to thoughts and feelings of lack. Many of us feel there's not enough of pretty much anything -- not enough money, not enough time, not enough food, not enough love, not enough energy, not enough men, not enough faith... not enough everything! And this is exactly why we manifest lack in our lives. We simply believe there's not enough of anything, therefore making it our reality.
I was walking to the bus stop on my way home from work one windy day. I have always loved windy days even if it messes my hair up! While walking against the wind I started feeling a weird sense of energy envelope my body. The wind became a reminder of what I have in my life. It made me realize, I do have plenty EVEN IF I DON'T SEE ALL OF THEM. From that point on, the wind became what I call my "symbol of abundance".
You can do the same thing too. And I suggest you pick out your symbol of abundance from nature -- the sun, the clouds, the sky, the wind, trees, flowers -- take your pick, and let it remind you of how abundant your life and the world is.
3. "I love them anyway"
A few days ago, I was doing a self-healing about being able to see the truth. I discovered that I feared seeing and knowing the truth about some people, things and even myself. I healed through the realization that it's okay to know the truth and still love, accept and embrace people around me. The next day, I was getting off the bus and the passenger behind me was pushing me in a hurry to get off. When I got off the bus, I looked at him (looked, not glared... for previously I would have surely done the former!). Then I thought to myself, "It's okay. I love him anyway."
This became an exercise for me, especially when I get into situations that would normally annoy me or downright piss me off. I do the "I love them anyway" exercise from my loved ones to random strangers. Doing so allows me to stop myself from passing judgment and harboring resentment to people for whatever reason.
I would highly recommend you try out these techniques, or come up with your own. Soon enough you'll be able to get into the habit of minding your mind, and become great in filtering thoughts that no longer serve you.
Friday, December 20, 2013
Thursday, December 5, 2013
What Forgiveness Is... and Is Not
A friend tells things to other people behind your back. Your parents forced you to take a college course that's the polar opposite of what you really wanted. Your boss grants to another colleague the promotion that was promised to you half a year ago.
Many times in our lives, there are people who would do things or say things to us that would cause us pain, hurt and even hatred towards that person. And when that happens, we start forming this force field around us to avoid going through the same experience over again. Then we share our anguish to some friends who will listen, sympathize and in the end will say, "That sucks. Well, what can you do? Just forgive them and move on."
Seriously? REALLY???? Forgive... and move on??? Isn't that exactly how we would respond to even the very thought of forgiving someone who has done damage to us?
What Forgiveness Is
Merriam Webster defines "forgive" as "to give up resentment of or claim requital for."
To let go of completely. To abandon. This is what it means to forgive someone in the truest sense of the word. In Bob Proctor's 11 Forgotten Laws program, I love how he defines forgiveness as "getting to the place where you think about the person and are able to wish them well."
At the bare minimum, forgiving someone is choosing to let go of your desire for any revenge or ill-will towards the person who has "wronged" you.
What Forgiveness Is NOT
I am almost certain that many people reading this are starting to fume inside, just thinking about the people who have hurt them in one way or another. Forgiving is simple -- just choose to release the pride, the hurt, the resentment (more on this later). But of course, simple doesn't normally mean easy.
Where do people usually get it wrong? There are a few misconceptions about forgiveness which makes it challenging for most people to do it.
1. Reconciliation precedes forgiveness.
"That insensitive ____ (insert cuss word here) didn't even bother to apologize!" Let's get this straight once and for all. Forgiving someone is not dependent on whether or not the other party would apologize. Sure, it would be so much easier to forgive if they did. Nevertheless, forgiveness is a choice. When you forgive, you free YOURSELF from the negative feelings right here, right now. You are prolonging the agony for no one but yourself if you choose otherwise. For all you know, that person could be living by the beach sipping pinacoladas all day, while you go to bed every night nursing your bitter heart!
2. Forgiving someone means letting them off the hook
When we get hurt, the next logical step is to make sure such experience never happens to us again... EVER. This "force field" we form around us comes in the form of resentment, grudge and even hatred towards the offender. These feelings keep us safe and protected. This is why many people are reluctant to forgive, because we feel that to forgive is to give up that force field. To excuse the person and minimize the harm that was done. To allow ourselves to be hurt again. The truth is, when you forgive, you open yourself up to better ways to "protect" yourself. You allow yourself to live a happier, lighter and healthier life.
It's worth pointing out that carrying feelings of resentment, grudge and hatred have now been scientifically proven to affect our physical health - most especially the lungs, heart, kidney and liver. These negative feelings are "toxins" in our bodies, so you might as well release them!
3. Forgiving is forgetting
I never really understood where we got this idea to put the two together - to "forgive and forget". And this is another one of the misconceptions that gives forgiveness a bitter taste in people's mouths. You see, forgiveness has nothing to do with having to forget it ever happened. Forgetting is denying something exists. So when you attempt to "forget" something ever hurt you, what you could potentially be doing is suppressing your emotions about it. And THAT is not the same thing at all as forgiving. Forgiveness is supposed to make you feel free, not suppressed.
The Person You Need to Forgive Most
More often than not, we fail to realize that more than learning to forgive the person who has hurt us, we need to learn to forgive OURSELVES. Our bitterness and resentment mostly comes from being unable to fathom how in the world we could have allowed it to happen to us!
Am I that stupid? Am I that ugly? How did I get myself in that tangled up situation? Why did I even think they'd be willing to love me that way? We would question ourselves like this in an effort to understand how we allowed ourselves to get hurt. And this is more dangerous. Blaming ourselves can be a bundle of sadness, regret and a whole lot of negativity. It's time to stop punishing and blaming yourself. Learn to accept yourself and realize that at the end of the day, what you did or happened to you does not define who you are.
Many times in our lives, there are people who would do things or say things to us that would cause us pain, hurt and even hatred towards that person. And when that happens, we start forming this force field around us to avoid going through the same experience over again. Then we share our anguish to some friends who will listen, sympathize and in the end will say, "That sucks. Well, what can you do? Just forgive them and move on."
Seriously? REALLY???? Forgive... and move on??? Isn't that exactly how we would respond to even the very thought of forgiving someone who has done damage to us?
What Forgiveness Is
Merriam Webster defines "forgive" as "to give up resentment of or claim requital for."
To let go of completely. To abandon. This is what it means to forgive someone in the truest sense of the word. In Bob Proctor's 11 Forgotten Laws program, I love how he defines forgiveness as "getting to the place where you think about the person and are able to wish them well."
At the bare minimum, forgiving someone is choosing to let go of your desire for any revenge or ill-will towards the person who has "wronged" you.
What Forgiveness Is NOT
I am almost certain that many people reading this are starting to fume inside, just thinking about the people who have hurt them in one way or another. Forgiving is simple -- just choose to release the pride, the hurt, the resentment (more on this later). But of course, simple doesn't normally mean easy.
Where do people usually get it wrong? There are a few misconceptions about forgiveness which makes it challenging for most people to do it.
1. Reconciliation precedes forgiveness.
"That insensitive ____ (insert cuss word here) didn't even bother to apologize!" Let's get this straight once and for all. Forgiving someone is not dependent on whether or not the other party would apologize. Sure, it would be so much easier to forgive if they did. Nevertheless, forgiveness is a choice. When you forgive, you free YOURSELF from the negative feelings right here, right now. You are prolonging the agony for no one but yourself if you choose otherwise. For all you know, that person could be living by the beach sipping pinacoladas all day, while you go to bed every night nursing your bitter heart!
2. Forgiving someone means letting them off the hook
When we get hurt, the next logical step is to make sure such experience never happens to us again... EVER. This "force field" we form around us comes in the form of resentment, grudge and even hatred towards the offender. These feelings keep us safe and protected. This is why many people are reluctant to forgive, because we feel that to forgive is to give up that force field. To excuse the person and minimize the harm that was done. To allow ourselves to be hurt again. The truth is, when you forgive, you open yourself up to better ways to "protect" yourself. You allow yourself to live a happier, lighter and healthier life.
It's worth pointing out that carrying feelings of resentment, grudge and hatred have now been scientifically proven to affect our physical health - most especially the lungs, heart, kidney and liver. These negative feelings are "toxins" in our bodies, so you might as well release them!
3. Forgiving is forgetting
I never really understood where we got this idea to put the two together - to "forgive and forget". And this is another one of the misconceptions that gives forgiveness a bitter taste in people's mouths. You see, forgiveness has nothing to do with having to forget it ever happened. Forgetting is denying something exists. So when you attempt to "forget" something ever hurt you, what you could potentially be doing is suppressing your emotions about it. And THAT is not the same thing at all as forgiving. Forgiveness is supposed to make you feel free, not suppressed.
The Person You Need to Forgive Most
More often than not, we fail to realize that more than learning to forgive the person who has hurt us, we need to learn to forgive OURSELVES. Our bitterness and resentment mostly comes from being unable to fathom how in the world we could have allowed it to happen to us!
Am I that stupid? Am I that ugly? How did I get myself in that tangled up situation? Why did I even think they'd be willing to love me that way? We would question ourselves like this in an effort to understand how we allowed ourselves to get hurt. And this is more dangerous. Blaming ourselves can be a bundle of sadness, regret and a whole lot of negativity. It's time to stop punishing and blaming yourself. Learn to accept yourself and realize that at the end of the day, what you did or happened to you does not define who you are.
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